There is no way getting around it, but to get through it. There are thousands of tools to help you and your situation. Search for your circumstances online, and you will find dozens of options to investigate that will help you through the maze.
Books – self-help books have been my rescuer throughout my life, my favorite when my parents died was “Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self” by Victoria Secunda. There are thousands of books available to help you through your grief, my bookshelf is full of them and if you want more recommendations, email me email@example.com.
Therapists – I see many therapists listings who have added “grief and loss” to their repertoire of expertise. Many companies have employment insurance that provides employees three free visits to a therapist. I have a hard time turning down anything that is free (not the best quality to have! ) and therapists are right up there on my list of helpers, all without judgment.
Exercise – believe it or not, therapists and everyone who has a workout regimen will tell you that moving your body will help, even if it is the last thing you want to do. I know when my parents died, it was difficult enough for me to get out of bed, let alone do anything more to move my body, but I know it would have helped me. Walking in place in front of the TV or around the block several times can do wonders for your grieving process.
Support Groups – support groups have evolved throughout the years since “Bill” first implemented the 12-step program for recovering alcoholics (AA). There is one for every language, disease, religion or non-religion, sex, age, location, and anything else you can imagine. If you think you are alone, think again, and look online or ask friends. If there is nothing near you, there are online support groups and many have phone numbers you can call at any hour.
Supplements and/or meds – when I could not get out of my pajamas or stop crying for an entire month after my dad died (which was thirteen months after my mom died) and nothing would help the shroud that was hovering over me giving me insomnia and sleepiness simultaneously, I finally decided to go to the doctor to get “meds”. I knew I would not be on them forever; I just needed to be able to get through the day in real clothes and move on with my grief. I was stuck and sometimes it is ok to take a nudge from pharmaceuticals. I am not an advocate for taking a pill for everything, but after you try naturally for long enough, get help. I was able to discontinue my meds, per my doctor’s instructions, within about a year. Everyone is different. Many people have told me that they have benefited from vitamins and acupuncture, of which I am a staunch advocate.
Whatever works for you, work it. Ask for help, you are not alone, I promise you that. Use the tools that are out there.
It never gets easier, just less difficult. Peace…